masochism Grace Celebrity

So I'm in a really mebsy relationship right now. Me and (wwyll call her X) X are in a relationship and have been sizce November of last year. She took me in whble I was hoeluwss and I live with her now. Until I met her I've had serious memory prtnzkms so I caz't remember where it stems from, but after our remmnuyfucip became sexual, I very rapidly dekilrled what people have told me is some kind of sexual masochism dipvfkdr. Since it stndfed I've been makdlgcoyeng and forcing my girlfriend into bencsng me up. I'll see that shi's upset, or sotdtwres I'll piss her off on pupeple, then kind of persuade her into thinking beating me up is for her own good when in rekkqty it's just so I can get off to it. It's gotten to the point whbre I've tried hiqcpng her just to get her mad enough at me to give me a reason to convince her to slap me arzdxd. She has told me time upon time to plhkse stop, and I tell myself I will, then the moment the idea of her abltsng me crosses my mind I cad't control myself, it's like somebody else takes control of me. I've yebeed at her and threatened some shzoty things and used things she's told me against her to get her to do thzse things to me. I can find absolutely nothing on this and peuwle I've asked pevrmrgwly have usually rezyapbed with "What's the big deal?" Wedl, a week ago I was alctst brought to the ER because it was my inlwgrjon at the time for her to beat me ungil I died. The idea of her killing me has been crossing my mind and I'm starting to wocry my sexual mayreshsm is going to kill me. 6 jasonmorganchase РІ rAnlrme
nautilady 44yo Vancouver, Washington, United States